Wednesday, December 15, 2010

I'm in a place where I'm out of my element,
Where everything and everyone are comfortable except me,
Life isn't about money or material things,
more about the relationships you make,
In the end if you are old and alone with every thing you wanted,
All that stuff wouldn't matter because you would have no one to share it with,
If you have a family and peopel that love you with not as many thing you would be more happy,
because a T.V. will never love you like a person,
Which I think this world has forgotten,
All we need is for someone to shine the light.
and maybe everyone will listen...

~My Life~

I've been in this world for 12 years now. My life has been hectic. I've moved from place to place, and from city to city. In 2008 something tragic happened. In my family there are 5 of us total; there is 4 boys and me. The boys are 33, 28, and twins which are both 19. In 2008 me and my twin brothers got taken away from our mother by the child protective service. Two years ago I was 9 at the time and they were 17 at the time. It all started when I was in 5th grade at Stallings elementary. I was playing with my friends at recess and my teacher came looking for me and she finally found me and said I was going home so I said "okay" and soon as I was making my way to the office I had a feeling something was going to happen. So when I walked into the office and I saw my social worker and she grabbed my arm and said "hi ____ I'm doing to take you from your mother so she can get well"  I broke down in tears saying "no, no please don't". We then went to the CPS office to wait for my dad to come and pick me up and so he did.  I lived with him for about 3 months, it was hell (excuse my language.) But then he turned me into foster care so last year I finally got released out of the foster care system.

A Bird

I want to be a bird in the sky. Give me a chance to be a bird. Please, I won't fly away from you. A bird in the sky.

The Wish

What I feel is sad because I want to earn straight A's to make my parents proud. Like my teacher said, I can wake up in the morning and be good at things. I wish I had atleast three wishes that would come true because I am always tired of not getting to my goals. As people are getting grades like I am, I know I won't earn good grades like them.

Strength of a Baby

Here I am, staring at the lights to music on a projector screen. It reminds me of the days when I was first born, but how would i remember? My eyes could barely stay in one place, is what I've heard. My throat was probably sore from screaming. Then, you think to yourself, how did i ever get here in life if I was a little, crying baby. I learned.

God's Signal

A few days ago I went to a friends house, to spend the night.  When I got there we first went to the Spa and I saw two shooting stars.  I kept thinking in my head, was god giving me a signal.  After we went in to her extra garage, which was as big as a house.  Anyway we walked in and I slamed the door. she flicked music on to fun christmas music.  We were medding around, having fun.  Until...the door creeked wide open.  We stoped.  then the music station changed on its own.  We walked over toward the door to shut it, Before we touched it, it slammed shut.  We left scared and belived it was the weirdest night.  I was stilll wondered.  Was that ny sign from god.  Telling us to get out! This really happened and it was on of the most horrifing things that ever happen.

Happy the Sad clown

There once was a clown named Happy, but most of the time he was not very Happy. Until he realized what was outside of the circus, and outside of the circus was an opportunity to start something new. And have a better life.


Say what you want about me
but I know that I am stronger than you.

You always try to destroy me
but you never quite succeeded.

good luck
but you will never kill my soul
It was a cool morning as I was coming to Citrus Hills. Then I noticed something weird . Then I turned to see my cousin and said "Did you see that?" she said "No." I said "There was a man in the middle of the street turning in a circle." I wondered why he was doing that.Was it because he was trying to reach his happy place and get his misery out, or was he just being crazy.

Variety is clever-
How we were created with different bodies,
shapes and

Tuesday, December 14, 2010


If there really a kingdom in the clouds,
Wouldn't we have discovered it?
Snapped pictures with our satilletes?
If we knew it was there,
We'd miss out on the point of life:
Science can't explain everything,
but if you listen to your heart,
If you believe
You'll know all the answers
In the end.


Where are my colors going?
now my life is turning Dull and Dark.........
It feels perfect today, right now, this moment
But why do I feel like there's something wrong
I turn around and I see parts of my life falling
And so I run to catch it, barely with my fingertips
Then of course I can't do it all by myself, but I try
So I take a deep breath and flex my mind
My hands more to the beat of my heart....
As soon as I finish, I wait for someone to tell me
What I did wrong because I already know that my work is far from perfect.

Why is it?

why do people expect more things in life then they already have?
I know i am not perfect, I cry, I lie i cheat but i'd rather live my life to the fullest then i let it fly
past me and die ....


When the rain falls, is it really water?
How could we ever really know what MotherEarth really wanted it to be? Is it her tears? Is it God's tears? Maybe its drips of water falling from the sea when the world spins upside down.

Monday, December 13, 2010


I am dying to start school and stop being treated like a baby,
I am dying to finish school and have the freedom to be with my friends and for me to ignore my parents and not care.
I am dying to begin a career and start a family.
I am dying to finish my career and retire
Now, I am dying, I wish I could of lived my life, instead of wanting somthing more than I had, now I watch myself slowly die and now forgetting everything I had was worth everything I needed.


What are words?
Words are just letters put togther.
If that's ture, then why do they hurt people so much??...
We put more effort in faking and lying and cheating, then we have faith in the power of truth.  Eventhough one brings happiness and one brings darkness, we keep coming back to what damages us the most.  Dont take the path worn with visitors because once you do, you might loose the path back.
what do you want for christmas? A game car, well I want my life to carry my family as for as we could go...
let us down when ever we decide to go. Ever thing has diffrent life expectoncys but mine is farther in life.
I have always wondered are muffins ugly cupcakes?  Are muffins cupcakes that were tamed wrong?  Where do all my socks go?  I started with 15 this month and now I have 7...did they dissapear in the washer?  Or do they get up and run away to Socktopia where all the socks go, with plenty of bleach to drink. And they can choose to go back to real life anytime.
I look,
I breath,
I fell,
But I dint understand
why time passes so fast....
wasen't I just a little girl rning eleven
it's been a year since kife was walking at my pace
and now my arms streach our far calling the time back
my eyes open but then it closes five minutes later to go to sleep
Why are friemds such back stabbers really why?!?  You try to be nice and sweet ( if they are a girl ) and they treat you like dirt.  I hate it, I'm fed up with people like that.  What I have noticed is that the closer you are with a friend, the harder you fall when you guys fight.  You won't have "best friends" because you never know when they become a backstabber.  This might sound like I am a low life mutt but I hate my life, I hate all of my friendship with people, and mostly I hate myself.  A lot of girls say I'm a sweet boy, but I'm not, I'm just a mean, ugly, unloved mutt that hates himself and doesn't have a reason to live.